Just break up already!

I've noticed at Socially Retarded's shows, when the crowd is actually into it, people never act so dangerously stupid and hostile as when they play, but there's never even been a hint of pointed violence. It was one of the few times that you could pretty much get as crazy as possible without the worry of beef. Their final show on 8/15 proved just that as the weirdos and bastards came out for one last time to rage and tear apart someone's residence.

Lindsey, Peach and I arrived first to find one person at Waterworks cleaning up the mess leftover from a show days before. Beer cans were fucking everywhere. He told us Raw Nerve played that show and I can only hope that beer was thrown at them. At any rate, we helped him clean up the place then came in possibly my favorite show-going person in Chicago, Erik the Jolly. I call him that because that's what he is, the jolliest dude I might have ever met, a punk rock Santa Claus with Predator braids. Shortly thereafter, Graham from SFN arrived and the few of us broke into the beer and whiskey. I then made the mistake of eating an entire personal pizza slathered with hot giardeneira. My stomach basically imploded and, combined with the booze, rendered me out of commission for some time. I think I listened to Other Women's entire set whilst shitting. They were real good from what I could tell. Their singer was the dude from Regrets, a solid band without a doubt. He didn't get as crazy as usual, i.e. going to the very back of the crowd and screaming lyrics into the faces of those trying to stay out of it. Definitely not bad for a first show.

Men as Witches played next I believe. They were alright, but the heat combined with the revolting stomach churning kept me in the back, drinking Jim and stealing Peach's beer. It got kind of blurry from that point, as I poured more and more liquor down my gullet and rained sweat through my pores. I can't quite recall if Vile Intent or Sea of Shit played next but they both had tight sets. Last time I saw Sea of Shit, the sound was awful and I just wasn't into it as I usually was. They killed it this time. I know little of Vile Intent but they were solid, despite Erik running into me full speed and smashing the back of my head against the front of the guy's behind me. Almost instantaneously he moved beside me and smiled and laughed. NBD.

Before Retarded played for the last time, I'd say I was about 7/10 drunk. I wasn't stumbling or slurring (that badly) just yet. As they were tuning up, someone yelled out "Just break up already!" which got uproarious laughter. I must say, Mitch the singer pretty much always looks pissed off when they're about to play and this was no exception. As soon as the first note started, sweaty bodies began mauling everything in their path, unless they were met by a greater force (myself or Erik) and sent flying elsewhere. I was grabbing everybody and forcing them to run with me into anyone standing around. Graham, with his shirt soaked all the way through, was a complete maniac, jumping and rolling at a constant. At one point, he grabbed me and after we smashed some fools, he fell, but as I tried to pick him up, I lost my momentum and decided to simply somersault over him. We both got back up and went back to town. Nick from Bongripper was doing his patented hammer-fist during the sludgy breakdown and managed to land one right on my head. Unphased I went crashing back into the crowd. Omar's cymbal was knocked down at one point and was recovered by Belo, as none of the band members seemingly gave a fuck. Mitch especially was just hostile and apparently choked this guy (who's name I don't know but I've seen at every Retarded show in the city; I believe he was "seizure-mosh guy") with both hands and pushed him out of the pit. I saw none of it as I was in my own world of chaos and mindless mutant behavior as I went all out for my favorite and best goddamn band in Chicago. Nearing the end, I found myself next to this guy Spencer. I immediately determined that he was of small enough stature that I could lift him and make a run for the other side. Went off without a hitch and he landed safely down. Figuring I was already in the lifting mood, I picked up Jimmy as he shredded his guitar on the last song and set him down safely as well. As the music broke down and devolved into hellish, abrasive noise (what a sweet, sweet sound), Mitch proceeded to kick over the drums and really, anything in sight. Belo then threw the ride cymbal into the crowd. Others followed suitably and began throwing whatever they could wherever they could. In a great final moment for me, Erik, standing in front of me, grabbed the snare drum and threw it over his right shoulder, missing my face by about an inch. Not that is sobered me up, but it gave me a short moment of clarity as I realized my face nearly got broken. He apologized profusely for doing so, but I wouldn't hear it. That's the risk you take.

And so ended a band that was probably better than anything you're currently listening to. The music and the shows were absolutely destructive, scary, maddening and hateful, but to me, were ultimately fun. The only other shows I'd have close to as much fun are Weekend Nachos, but Retarded simultaneously brought out the best and worst of people as far as the live music experience went, and now I am at somewhat of a loss. They just did it right without really trying, and in fact, showing total apathy to the crowd at times, while still being the coolest of dudes. Fuck, I'm going to miss you crazy, crazy bastards. Best wishes and all that bullshit.